~X-STRIKE~

Yup..my group name for bowling...today has tournament antara staff @ midvalley..hehehe..satu group ada 5 org..ini kira kali keempat my company buat tournament bowling.last sekali masa anak ku yang second beberapa bulan tah..then now after 2 years baru buat sekali lagi..hehehe..dulu tak menang pun..teringat bekas ratu bowling fomema (kak zie)..actually aku tak pandai pun main bowling..baling longkang tererlah..but bukan senang tu nak aim longkang..bukan calang2 orang yang dapat buat macam tuh..hehehe..so harap kali ni ada improvementlah..tak target menang pun..just nak enjoy2..je..ok..da..

~sangat-sangat free~

hehehe..apalah tajuk entry macam ni..lately,actually sejak kemasukkan budak2 baru nih kerja semakin kurang..yang herannya list untuk one day pun dah jadi makin sikit..kalau tak sehari mencecah 200 kes..but sekarang 120 je..huhuhu..devide 6..bape sangatlah seorg dapat buat..so tak sampai tengahari dah siap sume keje..ehmmm...bile keje dah siap..mulalah ngantuk n pening pala tak th nak buat ape..rasa nak amik je keje2 clerk  untuk buat..hehehe..gile keje sungguh..!!!..

~~pindah office~~

after raya haji ni aku kene pindah office..huhuhu..tak bestnya rasa..environment baru..kawan2 baru..rasa tak nak pegi je...waaaaa..sedih..sob..sob..ehmmm..kat cni dah kamceng ngan kakak2 yg sebelum ni aku tak pernah terpk tuk berborak..hehehe..nnti tak jumpa diorg dah..takde org nak di sakat..n..tak de lagi kena sakat..hihihi..

mb..ni permulaan yang baik untuk aku...tapi still sedih jugak...huhuhuhu...sob..sob..sob..

~apakah makna perkahwinan itu???~

ehmmm...kadang2 terpk..apakah maknanya perkahwinan dalam kehidupan ku..?adakah dia pun memikirkannya atau hanya aku seorang..luaran mungkin setiap org yang melihat akan nampak kami sangat bahagia..aku punya anak2 yang sangat comel(pada mataku..) dan seorang suami yang hensem.(pada mataku juga..)..tapi hakikatnya kehidupan kami tak ubah macam orang asing....boleh dikira dalam seminggu berapa kali kami berbicara..sehari kadang2 tiada langsung sms bertanya khabar or telefon untuk pengubat rindu..pegang tangan dah takde dah rasanya dlm kehidupan sehari2..kenapa..?perasaan ku...perlahan2 semakin hilang..jauh di sudut hati,mmg mengharapkan pengakhiran yang baik.tetapi..sampai bila...?

hati....susahnya nak mengerti..kenapa..?..mengapa...?..bila ingin memutuskan...sangatlah payah..seolah2 jodoh masih ada..orang kata jodoh tu kuat..tetapi..kenapa begini...?adakah dia memikirkan akan hal kami..?

gelap....aku tak dapat bayangkan masa depanku bila bersama dia...takut..risau..tiada kepercayaan...mungkin ini penyebabnya..bagaimana..?

mak kata..jagalah apa yang ada..pupuklah dan semailah semula kasih sayang tu..jgn dicari pada yang lain..aku tgh mencuba..dan masih mencuba..cuba untuk kembalikan semula perasaan itu..perasaan yg satu tika dulu pernah ada..perasaan yang sangat mendalam pada dia..sehingga aku membuat keputusan untuk bersama dia hingga akhir hayatku..tetapi..sungguh..aku tidak pandai untuk menyemai perasaan tu seorang diri jika tanpa bantuan dia...kurasa hatinya sudah tiada padaku...habis tu..jika takde kenapa masih lagi bersama..?kenapa tak lepaskan..?

buntu...

~BoSan nYEerr~

Lately ni sangatlah bosannya kat ofis..bukan ape..keje tak berapa ada..sejak2 review balik criteria for FW..so banyak kes yg 'clear cut'..takde dah lagi kes 'pending'..so keje pun semakin kurang..bile dah takde keje ni mulalah sangat bosan..bos2 pulak sibuk2 memerhati..takde keje pun kene kate..hbs tu nak buat mcmane..?nak buat keje ape pun tak th..so bila surf internet kene kate lak..ish3..sangat susah...

ni dengar2 citer ofis akan pindah ke putrajaya..mcmane lah nnti aku ni...sangatlah jauh dr umah..habis masa di atas jalan..pening2..if bujang mb ok kut..coz dah ada anak2 ni..agak rumit sikit..huhuhu..

ari ni satu badan sakit...dari ke tengkuk,leher sampai kebelakang badan..makan ubat pun tak jalan..mb stress dengan benda2 yang berlaku kat sekeliling aku nih..haishhh....

~~duhai hati...tenanglah...~~

ehmmm...lama tul tak update blog..bukan tak nak update..tp tak berkesempatan..baru2 ni lak my lappy problem..hmpir seminggu gak tak berlappy..huhuhu..sangatlah sunyi idup..impact laptop to me..hehehe..ehmm..banyak gak nak citer..tp tajuk entry lain macam kan..?

last friday ada dinner at one of the hotel area pj..actually jamuan hari raya company..masa smpai kat ctu ada acara tangkap gambar bersama family..but aku datang sorang2..then tukang tangkap gambar panggil my secret admire untuk bergambar sekali ngan i..sebagai temanlah..hehehe...so dat night..tak sangka aku menang tmpat ketiga for the best dress..dapatlah voucher shopping kat jusco RM50..oklah tu coz aku mmg suka shopping..then i saw someone i admire with his other half....she's pregnant,5 months..suddenly i felt very sad...see..all the men are same..just try to 'test market'..ehmmm..i pray for them..for happiness..i lepak ctu sampai kul 11 lebih..then masa sume org dah balik..he(my secret admire)..sang a song 'wonderful tonight'..make my heart feel calm..i'm feel touching..terasa macam zaman2 popular dulu..hehehe..masa zaman tgh dingorat..hahaha...

y..everything goes on me...?y i must going through all these..?is there any chances to me to live happily..?

Wonderful Tonight

It's late in the evening; she's wondering what clothes to wear.
She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair.
And then she asks me, "Do I look all right?"
And I say, "Yes, you look wonderful tonight."

We go to a party and everyone turns to see
This beautiful lady that's walking around with me.
And then she asks me, "Do you feel all right?"
And I say, "Yes, I feel wonderful tonight."

I feel wonderful because I see
The love light in your eyes.
And the wonder of it all
Is that you just don't realize how much I love you.

It's time to go home now and I've got an aching head,
So I give her the car keys and she helps me to bed.
And then I tell her, as I turn out the light,
I say, "My darling, you were wonderful tonight.
Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight."

Miss u Punita

She' my neighbor.My lovely neighbor.I still remember when i had a family problem,she's the one who always comfort me,help me & be my spy...Since my h not leave together last year,she also missing in action.Then i know that she has problem with his hubby.
I remember,she always give something to me..either cloths for my baby or food that she cook...,and she gave me her cloths when someone stolen my cloths..She's very kind & a good wife & mother.I don't know why her hubby find another one.
Today she comes to my house,after along time i don't see her..to tell me that,this is the last time she will come here..coz they divorce already.her hubby wants to married other woman & takes their children.she said she has nothing..no children & no hubby..i feel very sad to hear that..
I don't know when i will see her again coz she always change her phone number..but one things that i'm very sure..I'll miss her so much..i miss all the kind she has & i miss u..i'll miss u Punita..you're the one of my best friend..Hope u will happy and everything will run smoothly for ur life...take care...

Kisah Hati vs Kisah Cinta...

Kisah Hati..

Hatiku hatimu

Menjadi satu cinta

Ku rasa hadirmu

Hanya sempurnakan aku

Tapi cinta bukan milik kita

Semua harus berakhir

Cinta kau dan aku

Takkan mungkin bersatu

Untuk saat ini di dunia ini

Mungkin tidak bersama

Hadir di atas sana

Biar ku setia menjaga cintamu

Selamanya

Tapi cinta bukan milik kita

Semua harus berakhir

Cinta kau dan aku

Takkan mungkin bersatu

Untuk saat ini di dunia ini

Mungkin tidak bersama

Biar ku setia menjaga cintamu

Cinta kau dan aku

Takkan mungkin bersatu

Untuk saat ini di dunia ini

Biar ku setia menjaga cintamu

Selamanya

Kisah Cinta ---

Hatiku hatimu

Menjadi satu cinta

Ku rasa hadirmu

Melengkapi hidupku

Tapi ku tahu agak sukar memilikimu

Namun cinta kita tidak harus berakhir

Diri mu dan diriku

Takkan mungkin bersatu

Namun untuk saat ini di dunia ini

Ku tetap akan mencintaimu

Hadir di atas sana

Biar ku setia menjaga cintamu

Selamanya

Tapi dirimu bukan milik ku

Namun ini semua tidak harus berakhir

Dirimu dan diriku

Takkan mungkin bersatu

Untuk saat ini di dunia ini

Namun ku masih tetap mencintaimu

Biar ku setia menjaga cintamu

Cinta kau dan aku

Telah bersatu dan ku berharap

Untuk saat ini di dunia ini

Biar kita setia menjaga cinta kita

Selamanya

I Love U - Part 2

I just want to say I love u to my mak, abah, kak uji , kak tit, kak intan, man, kak zie, ct, lily, farid & not forget..to U...and i love my son & daughter...my heart & soul..my star & flower..mummy love both of u..very very very much...If  mummy not hear anymore, mummy want both of u know that u're my everything...u must be a good children & be something good in the future..to my hubby..i want u to know that u has stolen my heart once..& i had to love u with all my heart...hopefully u can stole my heart again...:(

Birthday...

last week on 18th ,i celebrate someone birthday..i bought a cake and sang my version birthday song...i gave something to him as a present..i think it's okay..yeah as a friend..he looked so touch..i feel glad to do that..hopefully he will remember for the rest of his life...happy birthday for u...the one who  always made my day!

I'm bored & tired...

I don't know how to start but i feel bored & tired with him...if i know this will happened,supposed i proceed the decision that i did before..

i'm tired...he always wants me to understand him..

so..,who wants to understand what i need???

i feel sad coz he can't see my potential..myself..

but 'somebody' can see it trough his eyes..

Is he still love me???

I don't have the answer..but seem the feeling slowly gone...not only him..but my feeling too..

what am i need to do now???....

sometimes i think..if he responsible to his children..its enough for me..

so..,how about me???

as long as i feel happy with that 'somebody'..maybe its ok for me...

i know that is wrong but..

i just want to be happy.....:(

Love or Like???

Many things happen to me lately.I don't know where it begin,but I'm sure it takes a long period to reach it.one things I'm very sure,it starts when he leaved me...

I know this is wrong.It should not be happen at all...but I don't know how come I get into it. It's seems like first time falling in love..I like that feeling..but supposed with him...

He said,both of us are bind...but he likes me..Actually I feel the same way...but I'm not sure either I'm fall in love or just like him..

Like?what the meaning of like?

Here the different between like & love:

1. In front of the person you love, your heart beats faster, But in front of the person you like, you get happy.
2. in front of the person you love, winter seems like spring. But in front of the person you like, winter is just beautiful winter.
3. If you look into the eyes of the one you love, you blush. But if you look into the eyes of the one you like, you smile.
4. In front of the person you love, you can't say everything on your mind. But in front of the person you like, you can.
5. In front of the person you love, you tend to get shy. But in front of the person you like, you can show your own self.
6. You can't look straight into the eyes of the one you love. But you can always smile into the eyes of the one you like.
7. When the one you love is crying, you cry with them. But when the one you like is crying, you end up comforting.
8. The feeling of love starts from the eye But the feeling of like starts from the ear. So if you stop liking a person you used to like, all you need to do is cover your ears. But if you try to close your eyes, love turns into a drop of tear and remains in your heart forever... also, you can like lots of people but can Love just a few  (or only one?)people

And another meaning of like means that you are simply happy being with that person & being comfortable with he or she.

Now I know why he said he likes me...and I'm very sure that I also like him...just like..

I feel comfortable with him...,he makes me happy & makes me forget about my problem..

Thank you for being my friend...my close friend...

Where is the love???

This entry is for me. About my feeling...I want to be happy...

I want to be a happiest person in the world...

could I?

All I need is a happy life. I want to have a lovely hubby. I want to have that feeling again...

with him.

Just with him...

It seems to be getting worst. What should i do? 

I don't want to loose that feeling...

anniversary

Today my anniversary..31 March 2011.Dah 4 tahun aku hidup di alam rumahtangga...terasa mcm dah 10 tahun je..hehehe..aku pasti mr.hubby tak ingat pun tarikh nih.ape perasaan aku ek???actually rasa sayu...sayu,sedih..mcm2..dalam 4 tahun ni terlalu banyak benda yang jadi.banyak sangat..perkara2 yang menyebabkan kekecewaan...semoga selepas ni hanya kegembiraan jelah yg aku alami...amin..

M.A.L.A.S

Lately ni sangatlah malas nak gi keje & bersiap nak ke tempat keje...tak tahulah nape..mungkin sbb badan tak berapa sihat..ehmmm..dah seminggu lebih dah rasa tak sihat nih..or...mb sebab..takdenye 'pemangkin'..ye ke???takpe2..kalau next week pun still mcm nih,maknanye 'pemangkin' bukanlah alasan penyebab penyakit MALAS nih!..

I Love U-Part 1

I like this song..actually this lyrics..This song is by Chris Medina.This three words are very meaningful to me...

What Are words

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I’ll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you’ll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words
If you really don’t mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they’re only for good times
Then they don’t
When it’s love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we’re gone

And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I’m meant to be where I am
And I’m gonna be
Standing right beside her tonight

And I’m gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most

What are words
If you really don’t mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they’re only for good times
Then they don’t
When it’s love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we’re gone

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I’ll be there
And I’m gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

Thank You...

It's been a long time I didn't update my blog..not busy actually but line not clear..This blog is very personal..I don't want him to know about it..This entry is dedicate to someone who bring me a little light inside my heart...

I just want to say 'thank you..' Thank you so much for what he did to me..Thank you for your care & concern.Even though you do not know what happened to me & my feeling towards you. I'll miss him...Hope he will remain the same...For you who will may concern, I'm glad to be one of your close friends...

Thank you Doc....

 You Didn’t Have To

Thank you for what you did;
You didn’t have to do it.
I’m glad someone like you
Could help me to get through it.
I’ll always think of you
With a glad and grateful heart;
You are very special;
I knew it from the start!
By Joanna Fuchs

I need a break..

if u get a second chance,what would u do???

kadang2 rasa penat nak lalui sume nih..kadang2 rasa takut ngan kemampuan diri sendiri..entahlah..letih sebenarnya..boleh ke seseorang itu berubah menjadi lebih baik??? kenapa aku rasa 'orang ini' seperti tak berubah???betulkan decision yang aku buat nih???kenapa begitu ssh perjalanan hidup aku???apakah hikmah terbaik yang bakal diberikan oleh-NYA pada hamba-Nya ini???banyak sungguh persoalan..mampukah aku untuk mengahadapi kehidupan seorang diri dengan tanggungjawab di sekeliling aku???

'Ya Allah!sekiranya dia tercipta untuk ku,memberi segala kebaikan padaku,ttpkanlah hati ku padanya..tetapi sekiranya dia memberi segala kesusahan dan kesengsaraan pada diriku,tunjukkanlah jalannya,jauhkan aku darinya,mudahkanlah segala urusan ku..sesungguhnya engakau maha mengetahui apa yang tersirat lagi tersurat dalm hidup aku ini..

amin...'

Happy New Year!!!

Rasanya belum terlambat lagi untuk aku wish to everyone Happy New Year..hehehe..dah 19 hari kita di tahun yang baru nih!azam baru???azam aku nak beli rumah tahun nih..harap2 tercapailah hendaknya..amin..
so di tahun baru nih..aku telah memulakan satu fasa kehidupan baru..all of us are together again..Hope everything will run smoothly.. like I said before..this is the last chance to him to show the changes..The problem is...ME!!!how to build up the love again???Help!!!help!!!;)yeah! i will try to love him again..hopefully will success..